Trip to Northern Thailand, 2012
如果一个人在一趟旅程中，可以带回来一件纪念品，那么你会带回来的是什么？有人选择当地的特产，有人用相机记录沿途美丽的风光，有人学到了独立，也有人学会了珍惜，但无论是哪一种，在旅行开始的那一刻，这些成长与失去，就烙印在我们探索世界的步伐里，成为了生命，以前我总以为，是旅行让我们认识了世界，现在我才发现，渺小的我们，反而是透过世界透过旅行，来认识我们自己。
-取自《回到爱开始的地方》
旅
Proverbs 25:28
He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
2014
凌晨4点如果还醒着，多半是失眠了；如果失眠了，多半是心绪缭乱了。这个城市，到了凌晨4点，烟花刹那绚烂也早已冷淡，大半剩下的都是寂寞的灰烬了。寂寞的真的不只是你，这个城市人人都特别的寂寞。我们都在忙着过自己的生活，情感上反倒是习惯性的疏离了。这段期间正好是学校假期，同事忽然间都不见了，偌大的办公室，有时就只有我一个人，冷气嗡嗡作响，我把它听成窗外雨后武吉知马山岚缭绕的低吟。大家都在忙着出国度假，城市人习惯了忙，一旦骤然不忙，就会寂寞了，那是很可怕的。
-取自 2014年1月1日的 阿果，三读空间，《联合早报》
monday, 23 dec 2013/ inadequacy;
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| Trip to Northern Thailand, 2012 |
“I believe in absolute truth and absolute contingency, at the same time. And I believe that Christ is the seam soldering together these wholes that our half vision — and our entire clock-bound, logic-locked way of life — shapes as polarities.”
-My Bright Abyss, Christian Wiman
The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, Haruki Murakmi
#1: Is it possible, in the final analysis, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of one another? We can invest enormous time and energy in serious efforts to know another person, but in the end, how close can we come to that person's essence? We convince ourselves that we know the other person well, but do we really know anything important about anyone?
#2: The passage of time will usually extract the venom from most things and render them harmless. Then, sooner or later, I forget about them.
#3: Sometimes, when one is moving silently through such as utterly desolate landscape, an overwhelming hallucination can cause one to feel that oneself, as an individual human being, is slowly unraveling. The surrounding space is so vast that it becomes more and more difficult to keep a balanced grip on one's own being. I wonder if I am making myself clear? The mind expands to fill the entire landscape, becoming so diffuse in the process that one loses the ability in the midst of the Mongolian steppe. How vast it was! It felt more like an ocean than a desert landscape. The sun would rise from the eastern horizon, cut its way across the empty sky, and sink below the western horizon. This was the only perceptible change in our surroundings. And in the movement of the sun, I felt something I hardly know how to name: some huge, cosmic love.
#4: I wonder if this'll make any sense to you. When we got married, six years ago, the two of us were trying to make a brand-new world-like building a new house on an empty lot. We had this clear image of what we wanted. We didn't need a fancy house or anything, just something to keep the weather out, as long as the two of us could be together. We didn't need any extras. Things would just get in the way. It all seemed so simple to us. have you ever had that feeling, that you'd like to go to a different place and become a whole different self? (...) In that new world of ours, we were trying to get hold of new selves that we're better suited to who we were deep down. We believe we could live in a way that was more perfectly suited to who we were.
#5: It was time for me to start getting in touch with the reality of the outside world. Try as you might to avoid it, when it was time, they came for you.
saturday, 7 dec 2013/ forgotten flowers;
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| Stay-at-home |
And a little later you added: "You know, when a person is very, very sad, they like sunsets."
"And were you very, very sad on the day you watched forty-four sunsets?"
But the prince did not reply.
-The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint Exupery
Kyrie by Tomas Tranströmer.
A feeling of masses of people pushing blindly
through the streets, excitedly, toward some miracle,
while I remain here and no one sees me.
through the streets, excitedly, toward some miracle,
while I remain here and no one sees me.
It is like the child who falls asleep in terror
listening to the heavy thumps of his heart.
For a long, long time till morning puts his light in the locks
and the doors of darkness open.
listening to the heavy thumps of his heart.
For a long, long time till morning puts his light in the locks
and the doors of darkness open.
thursday, 5 dec 2013/ to the world;
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| Trip to Northern Thailand, 2012 |
Those who have a memory are able to live in the fragile present moment.
Those who have none don't live anymore. -Nostalgia for the light
xx
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